Being Single is not Being Alone
Today, I was discussing "why one gets married" with one of my close friends. This discussion also reminded me of a Nagesh Kukunoor's film "Hyderabad Blues". In this film Nagesh K has played a character of Varun. Varun is a guy who has returned from US and is puzzled by the way of life he was living in America and the way of life people live here in India. As Varun is foreign returned and according to our traditions his parents are in hurry of getting Varun married. Nagesh Kukunoor has shown all this process/customs through some funny enjoyable situations. E.g. a milkman also asks Varun's mother that when Varun is going to get married. :)
Anyways, lets not much delve into storyline of Hyderabad Blues. According to me most of the times in India people think that if a boy/girl is not married then he is absolutely alone and living miserable life or will live a miserable life ahead. i.e. being alone, depressed etc.. etc.. However, I think there is huge difference between "Being Single" and "Being Alone". I personally don't find any relation between these two. I think in general primarily, people get married for one of the following reasons.
1) Companionship --> Companion is a person with whom one can share his views, joys, sorrows for whole life. Moreover companion is a friend with whom one can discuss all his private/personal things rather everything and one enjoys every moment being with he or she. However, not necessarily one has to get married for sharing his life. A general notion is that friends/family is temporary and one needs a companion but I think its not true. A person can absolutely share his views, personal things with close childhood friends and may be brother/sister etc. etc.
2) Care in later stage of life --> Thinking of future and getting married so that there will be somebody who can take care of a person in later stage of his/her life. To me this doesn't make sense. Its like getting married now and renewing a relationship as paying yearly insurance premium. So that when it is matured you will get benefit out of it.
3) Security --> Most of the times person gets married out of sense of security. When a person fails in something or something bad happens then he feels that somebody is at home who is with him in such a crisis situation. Again, its not required that one has to be dependent on somebody for emotional/moral support. It depends on an individual and most importantly how he treats his own life without thinking what other people will say.
Anyways, lets not much delve into storyline of Hyderabad Blues. According to me most of the times in India people think that if a boy/girl is not married then he is absolutely alone and living miserable life or will live a miserable life ahead. i.e. being alone, depressed etc.. etc.. However, I think there is huge difference between "Being Single" and "Being Alone". I personally don't find any relation between these two. I think in general primarily, people get married for one of the following reasons.
1) Companionship --> Companion is a person with whom one can share his views, joys, sorrows for whole life. Moreover companion is a friend with whom one can discuss all his private/personal things rather everything and one enjoys every moment being with he or she. However, not necessarily one has to get married for sharing his life. A general notion is that friends/family is temporary and one needs a companion but I think its not true. A person can absolutely share his views, personal things with close childhood friends and may be brother/sister etc. etc.
2) Care in later stage of life --> Thinking of future and getting married so that there will be somebody who can take care of a person in later stage of his/her life. To me this doesn't make sense. Its like getting married now and renewing a relationship as paying yearly insurance premium. So that when it is matured you will get benefit out of it.
3) Security --> Most of the times person gets married out of sense of security. When a person fails in something or something bad happens then he feels that somebody is at home who is with him in such a crisis situation. Again, its not required that one has to be dependent on somebody for emotional/moral support. It depends on an individual and most importantly how he treats his own life without thinking what other people will say.
4) Sex --> Finally and honestly I feel sometimes people get married because they think that they will get a license for having sex. Particularly, this reason is beyond my understanding and I don't think if person is not married then necessarily he is a virgin. According to me there is no relation between these two things. (Check out this old post http://chinmayogale.blogspot.com/2008_01_01_archive.html )
Having said all this people get married if they find their soulmate and they are convinced with a concept of sharing their life with that person, which is absolutely fine. Rather, I will say if a person enjoys being with another person of opposite sex and to some extent is emotionally dependent or enjoys every moment spent with somebody then certainly he or she should get married. However, being in happy state of mind as a single or married is relative and depends on an individual. Hence, it is difficult to draw a conclusion that if person is single then necessarily he is alone and unhappy.
India
posted by ChinmaY @ 3:45 PM
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